Abducted by It

I hate driving around KL on Saturday nights. The roads are full of Mat Rempits on suicidal mission. I don’t understand these guys … they ride on scooters and weigh less than 4 sacks of rice while trying to beat the sound barrier on that 70cc machine. For God’s sake … just go on a bicycle lah … at least you can bulk yourselves up!!

The light was red at the crossed junction between Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman and Jalan Masjid Jamek. I was waiting for it to turn green while watching the Mat Rempits ramming their speed machines next to me when suddenly …

“Bang …. Cepat jalan bang!” A very manly voice ordered me to hurry.

I look through my rear view mirror … it’s not a bloke … blokes don’t have big hair like that. It looked like Marge Simpson’s hair only it’s not blue.

“Nak pergi mana ni?” I asked

“Mana mana ja bang … janji jalan”

I turned on the meter as soon as the light turned green. I drove straight through Sultan Ismail Building towards the Railway Station. The Mat Rempits were doing the Superman maneuver while overtaking my cab.

“Stupid bastards!” I said to myself.

“Nasib baik lah bang…” I have to address ‘it’ as ‘it’ … coz at that moment, I’m not even sure whether ‘it’ was a he or a she.

“Apasal?” I asked.

“Diorang buat raid, habis kawan saya semua kena angkut, diorang bawak sampai 4 lorry. Kami bukan buat apa apa pun bang, lepak ja kat sana.” ‘It’ explained while doing the touch up on her face.

“Betul ka tak buat apa??”

“Betul bang ... saya ni bukan ‘pro’ bang … saya kerja kat office siang siang.”

“Habis tu apa awak buat kat Belakang Coliseum tu?”

“Cari anak ikan lah bang bukan cari makan…” ‘It’ chuckled.

“Oh! Cari anak ikan … awak nak convert kan diorang ka?” I teased.

“Abang tak tau … anak ikan ni lah terer bang … lagi lagi muka-muka rempit ni … apa diorang makan saya pun tak tau lah bang … sup torpedo kot …”

“Awak ni pergi office pakai macam ni ka?”

“Mana ada bang … saya pakai Jantan lah bang oii! Orang kat office pun tak tau saya macam ni. Mak bapak pun tak tau. Tu yang saya Jarang balik kampong bang. Eye brow dah trim cantiiiiiiiiiiiik gitu”

Then there was silence. The silence was interrupted by the most irritating ring tone.

“Helloooooo … “

“Akaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak … habis semua lah akak …. Ros … Yvonne …. Tina semua kena angkut. Nasib baik Mak dapat lari lah nyaaah … Kalau dak Mak pun kena sekali. ...” then there was a pause.

“Ni nyah nak jumpa kat mana ni nyah? Mak dalam Taxi ni. Mak tak berani lah nak gi sana balik … mak rasa mak nak pencen kejab … tapi mak tengah gersang ni … nak cari sapa? … huh … Ramli dispatch ? Tak kosa Mak ….”

“ Ok … nanti Mak suruh abang taxi hantar mak kat sana ya … Nyah jangan gi memana tau!” She ended her conversation and said “Bang … hantar kat Brickfields boleh?” to me

“Boleh …kat mana?”

“kat 7-Eleven”

“Ok …”

Then there was silence again …

"Berapa bang?" it asked when I stopped.

"RM12.50 ..." I showed it the meter.

I was handed two red notes with a hand sign - 'keep the change'. "Terima Kasih ya Bang" ... it exited my cab.

This really makes me wonder, why do people lead a double life. Is it all about perception and expectation? Is it hard to be truthful to yourself and being bitch by others? What does it take for someone to be happy?